Final Reflection

When I started this project in the Spring, I planned to work with a dear friend on an acoustic EP of his original songs. I was energized by the challenge of capturing his tender voice and depth of emotion for this culminating experience project. Things were off to a great start until, about eight weeks in, he notified me he could not proceed with the project. It was a frustrating moment, but not one I was completely unprepared for. I had selected a few of my songs or song segments from my voice memos as potential candidates for the original project. When I discovered I would have to do it alone, it almost seemed like I was supposed to be recording my own songs all along. Instead of recording an outside artist, I recorded four of my original songs that told my story of learning to trust the Lord.

I looked back at the journey I had been on since I started Berklee Online in April 2022. When I started, I was living in my parent's basement in Ohio with my wife and first son. Our lives were essentially on pause, we had only a few friends in the area and I was not working in a career at the time. We had left our home in Illinois, walked away from the career and ministry we were building to restart our lives in faith that God had a plan. If we were honest, we were struggling to understand why we were so stuck. I found my way to Berklee because I wanted to get a Master’s Degree to teach recording arts at my alma mater. Once I was accepted, our family launched into an adventure of finding a way to move back to Illinois, finding jobs, making ends meet, buying a house, and even having a second child. There were countless moments along the way when I doubted God’s plan for my life. I think of a moment when we were weeks away from our temporary housing situation ending and had no prospects for a reliable job or a place to live. It was at the last minute that we found a solution that worked. These moments of tension of faith were what I wanted to capture in my EP.

A lot of praise music is available that focuses on how great it is to know Jesus and follow in his ways. My experience was that truly surrendering and taking a risk of faith is incredibly challenging. It leads you to moments of uncertainty–even near crisis. At least it feels that way because we can’t always see around the corner to what is next. At first, trying to capture this emotion in my music was the greatest challenge. Much of my music was what I would consider congregational music, general praise lyrics and singable melodies, or prayer music, simple structures, and repetitive grooves. I wanted this project to be more specific and vulnerable, and that pushed me.

The writing stage was half done before I started the project. With a little guidance from my professor, I could quickly identify the weak links in the melody, lyrics, and structure of the songs. I dropped a song I intended to use called “Faithful” and instead brought in a song called “Found In You.” The lyrics in the latter were more specific to the message of my EP, and it brought a fantastic energy to balance the two ballads I knew I wanted to include.

Interestingly, three of the four songs I chose for this record were originally unworkable ideas in my mind. The style and sound of the songs didn’t fit what I was used to, so I didn’t have a clear sense when I wrote the songs how it would translate to the final record. This was a considerable challenge in the pre-production stage and later in the final overdubs. I labored over the right sound for “Please.” I wanted it to be aggressive but not too rocky and not too country. I redid the introduction half a dozen times before finding the right aesthetic. It wasn’t until the final week of mixing that I brought part of an old guitar track to seal the deal on the introduction. The struggle to present the songs was a barrier for me. Most likely, I would have given up on the song if I didn’t have a deadline to hit with this project. Perhaps I could have redone the song, but I realize that my persistence in finding the right way to put the parts together was worthwhile. This perseverance and commitment to the song is something that I will be taking into my future endeavors.

I felt confident in my ability to make strong arrangements and capture quality recordings for each song in the EP. However, I struggled to elevate each song to its unique place in the project. The four songs have a unified message, but each has a different sound, different instrumentation, and certainly different emphasis in the presentation of instruments. Sometimes in the process, I felt that each song stood apart from the others too much. Thankfully, I found that the songs started drifting toward each other with time into a cohesive sound. I had to remember the simple fact that as the one contributing the majority of the content, from the songwriting to the recording to the mixing, the result will be plenty unified. In some ways, this was a project of self-discovery!

Although I played most of the musical elements and sang every note, I collaborated with a few musicians on this project. I learned in some instances that I need to bring others into my projects. However, I also learned that it is very difficult to communicate my ideas to an outside musician when I self-produce a project. The difficulty comes not from the lack of language or any musical barrier. Instead, I realized I have a vision for exactly what I want something to sound like and to get that sound from someone else I would have to change everything about their playing style. A few times, I tried to bring in a musician more skilled than

myself to play a part, and every time (other than with the drums), I had to redo it. I learned my lesson and focused my energy on self-recording the specific parts.

I don’t believe my course of action going forward will be to only record everything myself. In other projects throughout my Berklee experience, I have used other musicians for amazing creative results. If anything, I’m learning to differentiate between when I need to bring someone else into the equation and when recording it myself is best. There are many instances where another musician brings a fresh perspective and musical idea. However, if I already know exactly what I want to capture and have the skills to play it, I will do it myself. This is one of my strengths as a music producer, and this project helped me sharpen that sensibility.

This 24-week course has equipped me with a stronger perspective on completing a professional recording project. I have a better understanding of the importance of taking care at every step of the creative process to capture the best possible sound. An immense amount of time, energy, and attention to detail is required to complete a project of this scale. Any time I cut a corner in the production or recording process, I regretted it later. It is tempting to rush to the finish line and satisfy that creative itch to “hear” the final result, but the size of a recording project like this demands the highest level of excellence and patience possible.

I am always struck by the fact that once a recording project is finished, it exists as a musical entity forever. With this perspective, it is easy to justify nearly any measure of energy investment. If anything, it demands that creative contributors bring their very best effort to every session. Even so, this experience has demonstrated the hard reality that you cannot get everything you want, which is okay. The ultimate goal is to communicate a message that is less dependent on sonic perfection or trivial benchmarks than I had previously expected. I saw the importance of having an ear for what is emotionally engaging and not just what is EQ’d correctly. Even with a more finely tuned ear, I can listen to old records and recognize that the production value could have been better, but it did not detract from the goal of reaching the listener. Balancing these two competing standards has been the most impactful lesson from this 24-week course.

Truthfully, I selected Berklee Online as my school for my Master’s Degree partially because it was convenient and partially because it is well-recognized in the music community. My expectations were set high, but I never anticipated how this program would shape me as a creative thinker and music producer. I have a greater appreciation than ever for the work music industry professionals do. Still, I have greater confidence than I expected in my ability to rise up to that challenge. This culminating project was a powerful implementation of all the lessons I learned. I intend to keep digging into these concepts (while exploring more on my own) to sharpen my skills as a music producer and strengthen my contribution to the creative recording community as a whole.